Christmas,

Much-Afraid

"Other desires might clamor strongly and fiercely nearer the surface of her nature, but she knew now that down in the core of her own being she was so shaped that nothing could fit, fill, or satisfy her heart but He Himself."

masterpiece

a sparrow

Are not five sparrows sold for two copper coins? And not one of them is forgotten before God. But the very hairs of your head are numbered. Do not fear therefore, you are of more value than many sparrows.

-- Luke 12:6-7

day by day

My prayer, as school reopens.

Day by day, and with each passing moment,
Strength I find to meet my trials here;
Trusting in my Father's wise bestowment,
I've no cause for worry or for fear.
He, whose heart is kind beyond all measure,
Gives unto each day what He deems best,
Lovingly its part of pain and pleasure,
Mingling toil with peace and rest.

Every day the Lord Himself is near me,
With a special mercy for each hour;
All my cares He fain would bear and cheer me,
He whose name is Counsellor and Pow'r.
The protection of His child and treasure
Is a charge that on Himself He laid;
"As thy days, thy strength shall be in measure,"
This the pledge to me He made.

Help me then, in every tribulation,
So to trust Thy promises, O Lord,
That I lose not faith's sweet consolation,
Offered me within Thy holy Word.
Help me, Lord, when toil and trouble meeting,
E'er to take, as from a father's hand,
One by one, the days, the moments fleeting,
Till with Christ the Lord I stand.

sing praises

{my photo :) ECP 2011}

Junior Camp is here! Simply just learning to SERVE as a servant.

Yesterday Grace, Matt, Nigel and I were at one of the games and we had to pick up millions (not kidding) of balls that the kids threw non-stop, in the hot and stuffy place we call the car-park. Hot like crazy, but still learning to bless the Lord NO MATTER WHAT. :)

Also, trying to serve with my whole heart and soul. As we clean up, wash dishes, serve dinner etc., I want to do the job well, as to the Lord and not to men (Ephesians 6:7). I really appreciate how the older ones like Su An set this very example of serving the Lord with all our hearts :)! Humbly learning from their examples still..

what is man?

an anchor for the soul

This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast.

-- Heb. 6:19

the love department

C: We must love in such a way that we are as wise as serpents and as gentle as doves.

L: But it's so hard! I mean.. IT'S JUST SO HARD!

C: That is where the Holy Spirit comes in, then! : )

"For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God."

-- Romans 8:14

outside these walls

Within these walls we join our hearts We come together to be set apart But worshipping on Sunday Is just a way to hide If we can't face on Monday The dying world outside Do the crying know we care? Do the lonely find us there? Are we so involved, we do not hear them call? Everywhere men are searching They're wondering why they're hurting Do they see the love of Jesus at all outside these walls? Within our hearts He planted a seed A love that we can count on for everything we need But safe in our seclusion How can we grow When outside these walls There are fields we need to sow Do the crying know we care? Do the lonely find us there? Are we so involved, we do not hear them call? Everywhere men are searching They're wondering why they're hurting Do they see the love of Jesus at all outside these walls? Lord, through our lives please let others see Your love reflecting through us perfectly

putting on the new man

"To ask that God's love should be content with us as we are is to ask that God should cease to be God."

--C.S. Lewis

with God all things are possible

Yesterday I took the bus home with Audrey, and I was telling her about my secret dream to get to VJC (heeheehee..).

Every time I tell people this, I will ALWAYS say, "Ah yah, it's only for smart people. 4 points?!! I don't think I can do it!"

Just want to thank Audrey, for reminding me to never, ever, ever, ever, EVER limit God. To leave this ambition at His feet. Maybe it is in His plan, maybe it is not - but to just do my best. But you never know what God can do, can you? :)

finding God's grace in every mistake

I haven't written here in awhile.. :)

The last week has been a rather eventful one, as an answer to a prayer that I made to ask God to teach me how to praise Him NO MATTER WHAT happens at the beginning of the week.

I had a car crash on Tuesday - safe!

I forgot to bring my Geog. PT on Wednesday (50% would have been taken off if I didn't hand it up), had a whole lot of stuff to carry around (a giant piece of hard 'paper', books) - my papa was still at home and was able to take my PT before he went off and brought it for me later, I had friends who bought food for me even when I didn't ask because they were worried that I would be hungry because I didn't have my lunch, and friends who helped me carry all my stuff to my Chem. class.

I got a scolding from my mummy on Thursday - even so, I learnt an important lesson about loving and honoring my parents.

Someone didn't do her best when I put my all in, and I had to pick up all the last-minute slack.

I found out that we had to write a report along with our Chem. PT on Friday, the oil in our PT spilled and soaked everything else - I had friends who helped me wash all the stuff and helped me get more oil from the uncle at one of the stalls, who magically had extra Ziploc bags and containers to replace the soaked ones. A partner who was willing to do the report, though it was so last minute. And even though it was due at 12pm, we were able to still hand it up at 4pm!

All throughout the whole week, God was teaching me to say, "Bless the Lord, O my soul! All that is within me bless Your holy name!" :)

Amazing, isn't it? How God still reminds you of His love even when you face these things? How God's grace is shown even when you make these little boo-boos in life? How He teaches you, chastens you, like a father would do to his child?

I'm having my holidays now, and I'm really thankful for this short little break to catch my breath before the next half of the year. I planned my timetable out already, putting aside time for homework, studying, family and friends. I don't want to study my holiday away but instead to spend it well with a good balance of work and play. I also put aside time to REFLECT. Through the past 5 months I've been growing, learning and also struggling and it's time to take stock. :)

the difference

I got up early one morning and rushed right into the day; I had so much to accomplish that I didn't have time to pray. Problems just tumbled about me, and heavier came each task. 'Why didn't God help me? I wondered, He answered, 'You didn't ask' I wanted to see joy and beauty but the day toiled on grey and bleak I wondered why God didn't show me, He said 'You didn't seek' I tried to come into God's presence; I used all my keys at the lock God gently and lovingly chided 'My child, you didn't knock' I woke up early this morning, and paused before entering the day; I had so much to accomplish that I had to take time to pray

saved to the uttermost

Half a year is almost gone already, and my walk with God has really been one roller coaster ride (as Teacher Chen Kee would put it). An amazing one; learning to grow closer to Him every single day, no matter what I face.

As I look back I still do see so many sins, so many weaknesses in myself. Like a piece of porcelain, you never see the tiny fault lines unless you look really closely. God Himself knows my heart, and He sees these things too.

The title of this blog post, is found in Hebrews 7:25, "Therefore He is also able to save to the uttermost those who come to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them." We learnt about it in Cat. Class today.

To be saved to the uttermost is to be completely and wholly saved. We can never lose this salvation. Even though I still struggle with sin, I'm still saved, but only by grace alone. :)

Even as I go into the June holidays, I really want to take time to reflect on the sins that I still struggle with, and commit them to the Lord. I'm going to work it out with my heavenly Father. It won't be an overnight thing, I know. But it's a beginning of a lifetime of refining and walking ever so much closer to Him. Another bout of the exciting spiritual roller coaster (Battlestar Galactica! :)). Where amazing happens.

bless the Lord, O my soul

[This is an AWESOME song we're singing on 10 june, surprise surprise. ;)]

"You give and take away for my good
For who am I to say what I need
For You alone see the hidden parts of me
That need to be stripped away

And as You begin to refine
I'm learning to let go and rely
On One who walks with me
As hard as it may be

You're teaching me all the while to say
Bless the Lord, O my soul
All that's in me bless Your name
Forget not Your power untold
Not Your glory or Your fame
For You came to heal the broken
To redeem and make me whole
Bless the Lord, O my soul"

The lyrics are written from Psalm 103:

¹ Bless the LORD, O my soul;
And all that is within me, bless His holy name!
² Bless the LORD, O my soul,
And forget not all His benefits:
³ Who forgives all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases,
⁴ Who redeems your life from destruction,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies,
⁵ Who satisfies your mouth with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

my Father's love

You know, when you see people around you in their own little cliques, yes you're friends with them but yet you always find yourself looking at them from the outside, as if they're stuck in a bubble. All because you chose to go for something that none of your closer friends picked. You look around you, but everyone has their own pair. And the next thing you know is you get paired up with someone who wants to make a three with one of the pairs, someone you don't even know. Yet in these moments, your heart remembers a song: "Safe and secure now in His love, alone. I find here, my place of worth, as one of His own. And I don't need anything, this world wants to give, 'cause I live with my Father's love." You remember that He still loves you, so, so, so much. A smile creeps onto your face, and stays there forever, ever basking in your Father's love. :)

how great You are

A thousand sparkling stars upon a midnight summer sky

The majesty and wonder of the ocean's endless tide

And the more I see the more I can't explain

How the one who set the world in place

Could even know my name and I'm amazed, I'm so amazed

How great You are, how small I am

How awesome is Your mighty hand

And I am captured by the wonder of it all

And I will offer all my praise with all my heart for all my days

How great You are, how great You are, how great You are

A million snow flakes gently fall, yet no two are the same

For colors fill the canvas of the seasons as the change

And everywhere I look I see Your hand

Why You would love someone like me

I'll never understand and I'm amazed, I'm so amazed

How great You are, how small I am

How awesome is Your mighty hand

And I am captured by the wonder of it all

And I will offer all my praise with all my heart for all my days

How great You are, how great You are, how great You are

the struggle to be still

I'm so thankful that I get to go to church every week, because my heart is always challenged after each Sunday has passed, my soul refreshed and my desire to know God more renewed.

Every Saturday night, every Sunday morning my prayer is that the Lord would open up His Word to me as I go for YPG, Sunday school, Worship, Cat. Class. And He really does!

I learnt so much on Sunday, but the thing that stood out to most was what I learnt in Cat. Class.

We were learning from Hebrews 7, about how Jesus is our High Priest and makes intercession for us. P. Mitch reminded us that in the Old Testament the Israelites could only make their request known to God ONCE A YEAR! And they couldn't do it personally, they could only do it through their priest who was half the time corrupt and whatnot. But now, we can talk to God anywhere, anytime, in the good times and bad. We don't have to go to the Holies of Holies just to pray, I can even pray in my toilet! Prayer is truly, truly a sweet privilege. Isn't it? :)

Many times, our prayers are need-driven. Strength to study, a sick friend etc. But yet P. Mitch challenged us to pray, not just because you have needs for God to fulfill (not that it's wrong), but because you just want to be with God, to pour out your heart to Him and to bask in His presence. In that secret place, to really sense His presence, the greatest challenge I find is to be still. To forget all my troubles, distractions and just quiet my soul and focus on the Lord.

Life in Singapore is fast-paced. One minute I'm somewhere and the next second I have to rush somewhere else. Something goes wrong first, and then everything starts going wrong. I do actually sense the Holy Spirit quietly, gently prodding me back to pray, but I just find it so hard to slow down, to say a little prayer and just rest for a second or so in His presence.

The struggle to be still, and know that He is God.

true joy

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. :)

Psalm 30:5b

"I will bless the Lord at all times, His praise shall continually be in my mouth." Psalm 34:1

These words are so easy to memorize, to say, and yet so hard to do.

On days when things just go right for me. When the test I had was easy, or when the bus I take home everyday is especially fast. These are the days when the verse is easily done, because my circumstances are good and comfortable.

However on the days where nothing seems to go my way, or when all the blame is pushed on me and I can do nothing about it, or with horrible weather (Singapore's so hot and rainy nowadays!), that 'joy' is so easily swept away into the dark dusty corners of my mind.

That's not the kind of joy that I want to have. I want to truly, truly find a joy that is constantly there, unchanging because it's from God Himself. A joy that comes because my God lives, because He hears when I call out to Him, because He loves me despite my inadequacies.

(a joy that never leaves vs. a joy that you feel when eating your favourite chocolates..)

I've to pray so much more for God to make Himself my central source of joy. Not circumstances, not how good life may be, but He Himself. Ü

"There is an endless song
Echoes in my soul
I hear the music ring

And though the storms may come
I am holding on
To the rock I cling

How can I keep from singing Your praise
How can I ever say enough
How amazing is Your love
How can I keep from shouting Your name
I know I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing

I will lift my eyes
In the darkest night
For I know my Savior lives

And I will walk with You
Knowing You'll see me through
And sing the songs You give"

(How Can I Keep from Singing - Chris Tomlin)

o love of God

The love of God is greater far

Than tongue or pen can ever tell;

It goes beyond the highest star,

And reaches to the lowest hell;

The guilty pair, bowed down with care,

God gave His Son to win;

His erring child He reconciled,

And pardoned from his sin.

• Refrain:
  Oh, love of God, how rich and pure!
  How measureless and strong!
  It shall forevermore endure—
  The saints’ and angels’ song.

Could we with ink the ocean fill,

And were the skies of parchment made,

Were every stalk on earth a quill,

And every man a scribe by trade;

To write the love of God above

Would drain the ocean dry;

Nor could the scroll contain the whole,

Though stretched from sky to sky.

a chance to trust

{I've decided to create a new blog because the other one ( www.pinkets.blogspot.com ) has too much rubbish.. :) This one is to be totally focused on my relationship with God (and some pictures along the way!) }

Well, it's been 5 months into 2011, and all I can say is that it's been a whole five months of learning to trust in Him - I've never trusted like this before, because I never knew that life can be so unexpected, crazy at times, but trusting Jesus, that is all. Things like my aunt's probable case of cancer (thankfully not in the end!), hard, new subjects like A-math and Physics, juggling church and schoolwork, endless tests, have driven me to put my trust in Him. Waking up everyday, fresh and with a renewed quiet assurance in my heart, being able to face the day because I trust in Him, who lives.

Just this week on Tuesday, I found out that I'm a prefect nominee. My first human reaction was an outright rejection of the offer, but as I prayed and thought A LOT about it, I've decided to go for the interview and try it out. I don't know what God has in store for me, maybe more responsibilities and whatnot, but once again the prayer made is "yet not my will, but Yours, be done." :) From His perspective, more responsibilities, more work is not something burdensome, but a chance to trust in Him so much more than ever before.

"Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!

How I've proved Him o'er and o'er

Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!

O for grace to trust Him more."